Burning the Candle at Both Ends


Okay, this post is one that I have been debating on putting together for some time…about the last nine months or so actually. No, I’m not pregnant. I am however, currently experiencing a lot of stress due to circumstances and situations in my personal life. While I am not going to go into too much detail, I will share with you enough information that hopefully you will all be understanding of where I’m coming from.

Nine months ago, I left my husband who I had been with for fifteen years. Suffice it to say that I have my reasons and feel justified in making the decision that I did. Though packing up myself and five kids was definitely not an easy thing to do, I felt at the time, and still do, that it was the right thing to do. In addition to this situation, which in and of itself is stressful, there are several other things in my personal life that are equally as stressful that are  in no way under my control and must simply be endured.

Taking care of five kids all by yourself is not an easy task, let me assure you. I have been burning the candle at both ends and it is catching up to me in a hurry. I can’t continue to do so, there is too much at stake. To give you an idea of what I’m referring to, I’ll walk you through a typical day.

The alarm goes off at 3 am. Most mornings, I lay there listening to it chirping at me and think, “Are ya serious? It can’t be time to get up…I just laid down three hours ago!” I roll over and silence the obnoxious noise coming from the speakers and then proceed to get up and get ready for work. After doing so, it’s time to throw a load of laundry in the washer and move the load I started last night into the dryer. Then it’s up to the kitchen to make  the kids lunches and  in the fridge where they will look for them right before they head out the door to school. After finishing their lunches,  I hurry and get their breakfast  ready too. Then it’s out the door to work after folding the load of clothes that the dryer has signaled is ready and moving the clean load from the washer to the dryer so I can fold it when I get home later that afternoon.

While driving to work I hope and pray that the nanny will  be a little  tougher on them today than she was yesterday, that she will have them clean up their rooms and make their beds like they are supposed to, rinse their breakfast dishes, load them in the dishwasher  and put away their place mats so that I won’t have to walk into tornado alley when I return home…and then I give up on that and turn on the radio so I don’t have to think about what the mess will look like today.

Four of my six work days starts with either a Krank class or a client at 5 am. Depending on the day, I teach anywhere from 2 to 5 classes a day and train clients before, after, and in between in addition to my own workouts. That puts me “working out” for anywhere from 3 to 7 hours a day. I usually leave the gym somewhere between 1:30 and 2:30 to be home for my kids when they get home from school.

Once they are home, have finished their after school snack and had a chance to unwind a little bit, we get the homework process started. Let me just say that with five kids, homework time is the stuff nightmares are made of! They all have a question at the exact same time, they all need one on one help at the same time, they are all ready for the spelling pre test at the same time and there is always one that no matter how many times you explain it, doesn’t “get it”(But trust me, there are only so many pictures you can draw to illustrate that 5 x 5 = 25). Get the idea?It’s ugly.

After getting them all settled with their homework and feeding them dinner, it’s time to head back to the gym for my evening clients and classes. The evenings aren’t as long as the mornings, thank goodness, but they still keep me hopping for several hours. After finishing up I head back home to spend time with my kids, though not nearly as much as I’d like to, get them bathed and then tucked in bed for the night.

When I finally  finish getting all of them in bed, it’s time to get started on all of the business stuff I need to get done daily so I don’t get buried alive by it all. There is always a blog post to write, research to do, emails to respond to and bills to pay…always. My blog posts alone take me  anywhere from and hour and a half to several hours to write, read, change and then re-read, edit some more and then finally post. I am passionate about what I do and want the information I put out there to be of value to each and every person who reads it, I don’t mind taking the time to make sure it is done well, but it is very time consuming. There have been several of my posts that from the original draft to when it posted to my site have taken me a couple of days to put together. Why has it taken me so long? Fitting the typing, the amount of research I do to make sure the information I give you  is accurate, the editing process (several times over mind you) and a few other incidental things (i.e., finding a picture to go with the post) into my already crazy busy life isn’t as easy as 1, 2, 3.

After the posts are written, there is still all of the other tasks that need attention as well. It is not uncommon for me to be  finishing up a blog post or responding to emails as late (or should I say early?) as 1 am. At that point I fall, exhausted, into bed. Before my eyes slam shut I know I have to reach over and set the (insert naughty word here) alarm again so that it can alert me in two hours to get up and do it all again.

Now, first things first. I am not looking for pity or sympathy, just understanding. I am in no way having a pity party or whining that I am more picked on or that my life is harder than anyone else’s. On the other hand, I obviously can’t continue to do this. I have had some outside influences that have  forced  me to evaluate and re prioritize my life and everything in it. Honestly, I am struggling with it. Don’t get me wrong, I know what is important to me and what I want, need and have to keep doing. The problem I keep running into is this: there are not enough hours in the day to do it all and still get the sleep that my body needs. So, something (actually, a lot of things) has to give.

That being said, one  of the things I refuse to give up is my website. It is too important to me (and hopefully all of you as well) but I do have to cut back on how frequently I post new articles. You may have noticed that the last few weeks have been hit and miss in that regard anyway, and for that I apologize. I know that several of you look to my site each Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a new post…and I’m sorry that they’ve not been there when you’ve expected them.

For now, until I have some other things taken care of , I will be cutting back to posting a new article only once a week. If there is anything you would like to read about, please feel free to leave a comment letting me know your topic of interest. I’d like to thank all of you for your understanding in advance and let you all know how much I appreciate your continued support.

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