One of the many reasons I love this time of year is that I get to add another notch to my belt, so to speak. It may seem ironic that a personal trainer is talking about adding a notch to any belt, let alone her own!! Let me explain. Each year, November 1 marks another year that I have held my ground in my very own struggle with obesity. This year is my five year mark. (To read my remarks on my 4th anniversary, just click here.)
When I think about it, I am always moved to tears. I cry tears of sorrow for the fat girl I used to be, for time lost, experiences missed and relationships unformed. I cry tears of gratitude for the girl I am now, for pounds lost and health gained, for cherished friendships that are the direct result of where I’m at in life right now. Too, I cry tears of joy for the girl I have yet to become, for future friends, future opportunities to help those around me reclaim their lives and for the fact that I no longer have to wonder if I will be around to meet my grandchildren.
When I compare my life now to my life then I am left in utter amazement. It seems the only thing that remains constant is my precious children!! I don’t live in the same house, have the same circle of friends, dress the same, act the same… In fact, I’m NOT the same. I’m the new and improved version of me, and I like the new me. A lot.
While I am constantly looking to better myself, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or scholarly, I love who I am right now. I love feeling confident in the weight room, love watching my clients (who quickly become friends) succeed and enjoy their own journeys, I love pushing myself to new levels and finding out what I can do. I am finding joy in my journey, enjoying each day to it’s fullest in spite of those who seek to bring me down, pressing through every minute of each challenge that the hard path throws at me and absolutely reveling in my success and the rush that comes from conquering every last one of them.
Time is a funny thing. It passes each day as it always has, one second at a time. Some moments, though recent, feel as though they happened long ago where others, that truly did happen years prior, seem to have just taken place days ago, if that. Memories of my first cardio session, my first weight routine, the first time I worked with a trainer (and how bad I hurt because of it!) along with many other experiences are so vivid and clear it seems as if it were just yesterday. On the other hand, I feel like training is what I’ve always done, like there has never been any other path than the one I am on now. Odd, isn’t it?
Time passes regardless of how we choose to live our lives. The last five years have come and gone, just as another five years will inevitably come and go, and you know what? At the end of that period of time, I will be even stronger than I am now. Care to join me?
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
YES!! I’d love to join you! You’re such an inspiration and I want to cry when I read how far you’ve come…even since last year’s post. You’re an incredibly amazing woman and I’m really proud of you and happy for you!! <3
I’m all in!
Great motivating article, I enjoy our sessions, although I think you tried to kill my the other day, with that d–n jump rope, but I will be back next Monday to do it again. Your story helps.
I’m a little behind this week so I just read your post and wanted you to know how proud I am of you. It’s been quite a journey for you! You are not the same woman in so many awesome ways, yet quite the same woman in all the right ways. Love ya lots! Mom
Okay, Lizzy and Cindy, I’m counting you in!! Thanks Gary, though I can assure you I did not try to kill you the other day, not even with that d–n jump rope! Mom, thanks for your encouragement and support along the way!! It really has been quite the journey, and I’ve encountered situations that I never in a million years dreamed I ever would, but it has been amazing none the less!! You’re right, I’m not the same woman I was five years ago, thank heavens! Yeah, I really like the new me, and I’m glad to hear that all of you do too!